19 Responses to Weight Loss… Cosmetics?

1. juliafaye, on January 2nd, 2008 at 10:49 am Said:

   I … I …
   *sputters*
2. whyme63, on January 2nd, 2008 at 10:55 am Said:

   I think they are actually promoting it as a diet aid, rather than a diet lip gloss. Those are the some of the same ingredients as are found in my Celestial Seasonings “Metabo Partner” tea.

   Which I drink, not for the supposed appetite supression, but for the crazy-delicious pink grapefruit flavor. And the caffeine kick, of course.
3. La Wade, on January 2nd, 2008 at 12:11 pm Said:

   Yeah, whyme is right about the intention here. I don’t think there are any lip glosses that have significant calories, because they’re made out of stuff that’s indigestible. They’re using lip gloss as a drug delivery system here.
4. mo pie, on January 2nd, 2008 at 12:29 pm Said:

   I am totally with you, except for the wording “guilt free” which, to me, implies that there’s something to feel guilty about in ordinary lip gloss. If it was, like, “energy booster” lip gloss, it would be less stupid to me. Also less funny!
5. Fat Girl, on January 2nd, 2008 at 12:57 pm Said:

   I’m sick of lip glosses promoting themselves as the “guilt free” version of your favorite treat.

   Like the Philosophy Candy Cane scented stuff- You can use their lip gloss and get that “peppermint kick” instead of eating a candy cane.

   Sorry, it’s not the same. When I want a candy cane, I want a candy cane, and wearing candy-cane lip gloss is only going to make me want one more.

   I remember this bonne belle vanilla frosting lip gloss that I had that smelled oh-so-good and always made me want to eat a whole can of frosting because it SMELLED JUST LIKE FROSTING.
6. La Wade, on January 2nd, 2008 at 12:58 pm Said:

   I think the “guilt free” refers to the fact that when you wear the gloss, you are taking in a drug that supposedly suppresses your appetite and boosts calorie burning. So you don’t need to feel guilty about what you eat or the fact that you didn’t go to the gym today. You’re wearing the lip gloss, so you’ve got it covered!
7. Lindsay, on January 2nd, 2008 at 1:11 pm Said:

   I’ll be honest: this is less amusing to me, and more pissing me right the hell off.

   I’m gonna attempt to chalk part of that up to the two hours of sleep i got last night.

   The ingredients you mentioned, those are in a lot of popular energy drinks. Here’s the problem: topical absorption and internal absorption don’t always work the same way. A lot of it entirely depends on the chemicals involved. There’s no guarantee that these ingredients will do anything other than sit there.

   But, having made it all tastified, i’m guessing they’re counting more on internal absorption to do the trick. But there’s so many potential problems with that, i can’t bring myself to think about it on this little sleep.
8. DaisyBug, on January 2nd, 2008 at 2:08 pm Said:

   I think this is a bad choice of marketing terms… by saying a product is guilt-free you do indeed imply that the normal version of said product is guilt laden. Here it seems like they are marketing this product off of the the guilt normally produced by the regular version.

   That said – I don’t think that is the company’s real intention. No one is stupid enough to really think they have to feel guilty about lip gloss – I think it was a poor attempt at alliteration.

   I just have to wonder – why?? Can we allow ourselves to do something so small as protect our lips from chapping without taking the opportunity to defend against *gasp* extra weight!??! Too bad they can’t put something in lipgloss to protect against stupid. Now THAT would be money in the bank.
9. byrneout, on January 2nd, 2008 at 2:20 pm Said:

   Oh, speaking of Philosophy? I found Frango Mint bath gel at Macys flagship store in the hollowed-out corpse of Fields in downtown Chicago. Smelled great, perfect gift for my mother-in-law, who loved Frangos beyond all reason before they outsourced the factory and changed the flavor. So, fine, swallow my gorge at supporting Macys and ring that up, right?

   But have a look at the label: http://www.philosophy.com/web/store/prod_frango-mint-diet-shower-gel

   Probably can’t read that at this resolution. So please take my word that that big brick of text on the front of this very large bottle of gel is 100% DIET TIPS.

   Look, I realize that the beauty industry wouldn’t exist without making people feel like shit and then giving them a product to fix that. But it seems excessive to me that, every morning when she gets in the shower, my mother-in-law should be forced to read a message about how her body isn’t good enough.

   The right thing to do in this case is pretty obvious: Don’t buy it, and maybe haul the manager onto the floor to give her an earful on top of it. And then call Philosophy to bitch at them. Only… well, it was really the -perfect- present. So instead I bought it and scraped every scrap of diet talk off the label with a single-edged razor.
10. Marste, on January 2nd, 2008 at 2:22 pm Said:

    Hmm. “Guilt-free?” What if it OMG tastes SO GOOD that I just eat the whole tube/pot/whatever? Maybe I won’t even bother putting on my LIPS! Should I feel guilty then? ::::shakes head::::: For God’s sake . . .

    As a side note, I wonder how much Chromium and L-Carnitine are in there? Could you lick your lips and reapply so often that you OD’d? It’s funny to think about, actually: “How did she die?” “Too much lip gloss. Oh, the humanity!” ::::cracks up::::
11. Cindy, on January 2nd, 2008 at 3:15 pm Said:

    If I wear 200-calorie mascara and FUZE lip gloss, will my face collapse?
12. whyme63, on January 2nd, 2008 at 3:15 pm Said:

    byrneout—
    This made my whole day:
    Macys flagship store in the hollowed-out corpse of Fields in downtown Chicago.

    Just wanted you to know. And also, you totally rock for scraping that poison off the bottle.
13. Cindy, on January 2nd, 2008 at 3:16 pm Said:

    Dammit, that should have been two THOUSAND calorie Mascara.

    Sorry, Max Factor.
14. FashionableNerd, on January 2nd, 2008 at 4:06 pm Said:

    If there’s slimming gloss, there should totally be a liposuction blush (to get rid of the fat in the cheeks!), a Botox concealer (get rid of crow’s feet and puffiness!), and a facelift foundation (for the all around smooth look!). And then you’ll just need regular eyeshadow, cause after all that, you’re gonna have the suprised clown face, and no clown face is complete without brightly colored eyeshadow about the eyes!

    But seriously…I want the beauty industry to stop giving us stuff to obsess over. The nonexistant calories in my lip gloss? Seriously?
15. Fatadelic, on January 2nd, 2008 at 5:53 pm Said:

    Clearly they have taken ‘a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips’ just a little too literally.
16. natalie, on January 2nd, 2008 at 11:07 pm Said:

    calories..in lip gloss…i didnt realize there were people crazy enough to be afraid of the calories in their lip gloss! and this probably just causes more people to freak out about it now that theyve learned that their old lip gloss is gonna make them ‘fat’. plus…wouldnt all the taste of the lipgloss make u want to eat? cuz whenever i have lipgloss that tastes like candy it always makes me want to eat more candy…
17. Jadette, on January 3rd, 2008 at 1:31 am Said:

    I’m just… kinda.. confused… I will forgive them for the lipgloss. It’s based off of the drinks, and it has “Fad” written all over it. I’m much more pissed off at the philosophy mint shower gel. What the hell were they thinking? …Does anybody remember the swiss chocolate body wash St. Ives used to make? It smelled like showering in hot cocoa, but not as sticky. *sigh* :)
18. littlem, on January 3rd, 2008 at 5:00 pm Said:

    I love me some Sephora, but

    :VIOLENT EYE ROLL:

    That is all.
19. Emily, on January 7th, 2008 at 9:28 am Said:

    Oh crap. This is worn by the same people who won’t chew Big Red because there are 5 calories. I won’t be buying this lipgloss. And I LOVE lipgloss.

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