Thrifty Thoughts
I thought you guys would be interested in Gwen’s post today. She starts off posing some hypothetical reasons you might want to lose weight, and some less good reasons for losing weight. Then she talks thrift stores:
Other times — times when I’m fatter — I hate thrift store shopping because, apparently, fat people never give good clothes away. I don’t blame them. When you’re fat, it’s hard enough to find good-looking clothes. Why would you give your good stuff away without knowing if you’d be able to replace it? No, fat people have to hold on to their good stuff. I know, because I’ve been fat. More than once.
So, what do you guys think? Are her reasons for “getting into shape” or not valid ones? And have you ever found anything awesome at a thrift shop? (Maybe you can get the address where all of Anne’s awesome clothes went.)
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There’s actually a plus-sized thrift store in my town. It’s got it’s share of weird-looking stuff, but I also got some great finds there. You might want to check if there’s one in your city.
If there’s a craiglist in your city, do a search on plus size clothes in the community/free/for sale boards. I constantly see posts from women in New York saying “i have size 18 clothes [list of clothes] on the upper west side, you must take them all, email for details.”
Once I found a hot pink sequined dress in a size 16 at a thrift store. It was a little too small, but It was AWESOME!
I gave a lot of my clothes to the local Goodwill when I lost fifty pounds and couldn’t fit in them anymore. Luckily, I haven’t needed them back in the past couple of years since I donated them.
… Or you could host a clothing swap and turn it into a party.
/blatant self-promotion
I think a lot of fat girls hold onto clothes for emotional reasons. When I was cleaning out my closets recently I was amazed at all the clothes I was hording for bizarre reasons. I had a bunch of clothes that I bought online but ended up hating and then held onto because I never return things and then I feel guilty about not wearing them so for some kind of penance I was keeping them in my closet. And then there was my “skinny” clothes–the outfits I loved but haven’t fit into for five years. I was holding onto them “just in case” I would fit into them some day.
And then I realized that by holding onto those clothes, I was making a statement on two fronts. I was affirming that I should be a different size–and, well, fuck that. I was also affirming the idea that if I got rid of those clothes and emptied out my closet I wouldn’t have the abundance to get new clothes (and fuck that too). I invited a good friend over to be objective about what was cute and what wasn’t and had TONS of fun saying, “I hate these pants! They can go!” or “Someone will looove these skirts! They can go too.” and even “Hey, I can wear this top! Because the goal isn’t to not look fat, the goal is to look cute while fat.”
I think a little closet mining would do everyone some good!
At one point in time, I got rid of my clothes on a regular basis, donating them to our local thrift store. I was told by the ladies who volunteered there that my clothes made it to the racks and were usually gone the next day. These weren’t clothes I bought, they were clothes I had made and gotten tired of wearing (I was making tops for a couple of bucks apiece and slacks for 3 or 4 bucks at that time, so I could afford to give them away when I got tired of them). Then I got really busy with a new job and didn’t have the time to sew anymore, so started buying most of my clothes. When I have to pay more than $10 for a top or pants (yeah, I’m a cheapskate, it’s all the years of sewing and knowing I can make it cheaper than I can buy it ready-made), I’m going to wear them until they fall apart, so no more donating clothes. As far as finding clothes to fit me at thrift stores, forget it. I’ve never found a pair of slacks/jeans in a 28/30 or a top in a 4X or 5X, so I don’t even bother to look anymore.
Some of Anne’s fabulous clothes are now hanging in my closet but you cannot have my address.
I followed her example today though, and dropped a bunch of my favorite, most lovely clothes off at a plus-size consignment store today. I like to think of it as paying it forward. I figure that if that adorable polka dotted tunic made me happy then it might make someone else just as happy. I think cleaning out your closet is a good way to help clean out your psyche. (Plus, it leaves more room for new clothes!)
I think a lot of fat girls hold onto clothes for emotional reasons.
Yes.
It’s not just the clothes that I am currently too big for (although there are a few, and yeah, I still have them.) I have yet to get rid of any of my clothes from when I was slightly bigger. Because, you know, most of them aren’t so big they look ridiculous, and OK, this sweater is now too big but I wore it at college and it has sentimental value…
Which, of course, is a smokescreen: I’m actually keeping them in case I need them again.
I think there might also be the factor (I remember a “Lose the Buddha” entry about this) of feeling that because you’re fat, you have to look more well-presented than if you were thin, to “make up for it”. So you hang on to clothes in case they turn out to be exactly what you need in future, and what if you’d thrown them out? Insurance clothes.
Sometimes I do think I’m a ridiculous hoarder, but on the other hand, some of my really old clothes make me happy, so it’s not entirely a bad thing. (Currently wearing a top from 1992 and the aforementioned college-days sweater.)
I find great stuff at thrift stores all the time! I recently made like 4 trips to the thrift store because I’m trying to find costumes for a play, and I found the skirt I am wearing today (Size 16) for $3.49 and the black top I wore yesterday (14 Lane Bryant) for $2.99! I know that when people say they like this skirt, I should just say “thanks”, but instead I start gushing about how cheap it was. Classy! There have been times when I’ve gone to the thrift store and found nothing, but that’s true of any store for me.
Fitting into a certain size is not technically a bad reason to lose weight. I’ve been known to long to fit into a slightly smaller dress just because it’s so darn cute. But here’s the danger, I think. Sometimes when people (me included on the past) are holding out for that “perfect size/outfit, they let everything rest on that goal. They don’t care about looking cute on their “journey” (lame word I know) towards that size and it almost becomes an obsession. So yeah, not heathy. In the past I’ve almost made not fitting into a size 14 skirt a moral issue. Even at the time I knew that was pathetic…but it didn’t change my feelings. Ick. The worst thing I ever did was hang a dress on my door like it was a freaking finish line I was going to cross when I had “worked hard enough” to fit into it. Please. In hindsite, I would take the dress back, buy the correct size, and leave the store wearing it. Life is too short.
Sorry this is so long, BFD! :)
Cheekbones, high waist-to-hip ratio. Human biology says these are sexy.
Erm no. Cultural mores say these are sexy.
I can understand many of Gwen’s reasons, especially those related to health. But, she, like so many others, erroneously equates “getting in shape” to “becoming thin.” The two are not necessarily synonymous.
When I lost weight several years ago, I would immediately donate my old clothes once I grew out of them. This was my mental reassurance that I would never be in that size again. Well, surprise. I’ve gained back some of the weight and really miss those clothes. Some of it was really cute and I can’t find the styles anymore. It’s all this back to the 80s designs that I hate.
I send two or three 55-gallon bags to Goodwill twice a year, filled with my various size 24 and up clothes. I have no idea what happens to it. But I cannot hoarde clothing because my closet space is ridiculously sparse, so I must take a cold heart and analyze my wardrobe every season.
It is sooo damned hard to find clothes in the first place, that I rarely have a wide selection in my wardrobe. This means everything I own gets worn more often, wears out sooner, and never makes it to donation land.
On the extremely rare occasions where I do have a decent outfit I want to get rid of, I donate it to the local Hope’s Closet group. They collect new and “gently used” work-appropriate attire for women in need who are entering the workforce. We have really crappy thrift stores around here, so I don’t go often, and never find decent clothes when I do.
I always give my clothes to Goodwill, and if I do say so myself, they’re all pretty awesome! I change my wardrobe every season because I simply can’t stand to wear the same stuff all the time.
As for her reasons to lose weight, they’re mostly all valid and pretty much the same reasons I have. The only exceptions are “for revenge” which does no one any good, and “so people will love you” because people already love you (or don’t love you) whether you’re fat or not, and losing weight won’t change that. Personally I’m looking forward to the time when my life goes from miserable to awesome!
I do a major closet clean-out about twice a year which results in about two large shopping bags worth of donatables (church clothing drive), and then there’s the bag filled with undonatables (old socks, underwear, nasty pit-stained work-out t-shirts, etc.) that gets tossed or recycled into rags. Currently I’m at a size 12 but I admit to keeping a couple of pairs of size 10′s that were quite expensive and (at one time) fit exquisitely. Although I do try them on periodically (I don’t weigh myself – I go purely by how I feel and how my clothes fit), I don’t obsess over them, but I would like to fit into them again – hey, I can dream.
I love to shop at thrift, consignment and especially vintage shops. I love the deals from the thrift and the consignment and I love the styles from the vintage shops. I can usually find things in my size everywhere but the vintage – I guess people were smaller and better girded (girdled?) back then. I do have some luck at vintage shops in Wisconsin. I don’t want to kick Wisconsin for it’s reputation of larger scale residents, but I do find that I can actually buy lovely jackets, beaded sweaters, and the occasional suit or dress when I’m shopping in Milwaukee. As long as you know your measurements (vintage sizing is not the vanity sizing of today – I usually wear a 16 in vintage) eBay can be a good resource for vintage too. I do notice a dearth of clothes larger than 12 at most upscale consignment stores – I’m not sure if it’s because they won’t take the clothes in or because, as Gwen suggests, when you find good plus-size clothing you tend to hang on to it. Interesting post.
I love thrift stores, and do notice that there tend to be lots and lots more clothes in smaller sizes. maybe because I live in a college town?
When I got too small for my clothes, I felt compelled to pass them along to a friend rather than charity, because I wanted to see them go to a good home. (Emotionally attached much? How illogical is this?) Forget the fact that although she wore my old size, we were completely differently shaped and only a few of my things looked right on her.. Eventually I did give them to charity and suddenly realized that they would be going to a good home-someone like me who had a hard time finding clothes that they could afford! Silly me!
I don’t visit thrift stores. I never think to do it. I actualy like some of the vintage looks, but rarely shop at thrift stores. Maybe I’ll start.
On her list of reasons, it just so happens I was on the way back from Quiznos (with a raspberry Chipotle Chicken salad) and was listening to NPR. Our local talk show was about breast cancer and the panel of experts was saying there is no diet prescription that has been found to reduce breast cancer risk in prospective studies.
In Portland, we have , a plus-size resale shop that only takes good stuff. I give all my good stuff to a local non-profit that provides interview and job clothing to women in need. My everyday clothes usually become yard/housework clothes.
Re: Gwen’s article, I hate the term “in shape”. It implies that diet and exercise will make you thin, and that being thin means you diet and exercise.
Also, I have a high waist-hip ratio and I’m fat. My skinny sister doesn’t have as high a waist-hip ratio because she has very small hips. That has more to do with build than actual weight. A pear-shaped person is never going to be an apple and vice versa, no matter how much weight you gain or lose.
On the subject of thrift store shopping, the only decent item of clothing I’ve been able to find in plus sizes was a denim jacket. I’ve gotten tons of shoes from secondhand and thrift stores.
Actually a waist to hip ratio of .7 in women is not just culturally desirable, it is a good indicator of fertililty and health. That is why men are attracted to it. You can have a “perfect” waist to hip ratio at any weight. Kate Moss and Emme both have .7 waist to hip ratio.
I’ve found some really nice stuff at thrift stores. I have vintage dresses from the 30′s, 60′s and 70′s that I’ve gotten at second hand stores. I also have a couple of great winter coats that I got at Value Village.
As for the reasons to lose weight…
1. Yeah, it would be nice to fit into straight sized clothes, but past experience tells me that sustainable changes in my habits don’t quite put me into that size range. They land me in the gap between a 14 misses and a 14W – possibly the worst size to be when it comes to finding clothes. I’ve never been smaller than that (not since before the age of ten, anyway).
2. Any Halloween costume that I’d wear thinner, I’d wear now.
3. I can’t think of an activity that I could do while lighter, but not at my current weight. Sure, some might take some training, but I wouldn’t have to be smaller.
4. There’s nothing wrong with my health. And, if I ate less, I’d have more, not fewer, problems with low blood sugar.
5. Waist/hip ratio and prominent cheekbones are not weight dependent for me. I also have a more balanced figured (closer to an hourglass than a pear) when I’m heavier.
6. Flexibility is not weight-dependant, either.
7. See #1
8. This is also about fitness and not weight.
Personally, I think the reason there aren’t a lot of plus sizes in thrift stores is because they SELL OUT the second they arrive!! It’s like how my favourite plus-sized black tights are ALWAYS sold out every time I go to this one store that sells them. They keep saying they order them, but they are snatched up right away. Well, ORDER MORE!! Duh. I now buy most of my clothes, including underwear, bras and tights, on eBay! So many great eBay plus sized stores/sellers… such great prices. I’m fatter than I’ve ever been (not proud, just sayin’) and I love my wardrobe now more than ever!
When I was fat, I used to buy clothes I wished I could fit in with the intention of losing weight so that I could. Maybe just a size or two too small but still, I never got there.
When I finally lost weight and started digging through all the places I had clothing stored away, I found loads of stuff, never worn, still in the mail order bags with tags. I couldn’t remember buying it. I put a lot of it on eBay and one particular woman discovered it and eventually bought just about everything I had.
I can understand someone being motivated to want more stylish clothing but really I think a more important reason is how much better clothing fits and feels on a less-fat body. I’m amazed at the difference.
She does say they are just possible reasons, ie they won’t apply to all. Who can really say whether another persons reasons are valid or not, we all have different needs. Her reasons not to lose weigh I think are universal.
Sometimes it’s ok to be a bit petty and superficial.
And yeah I feel better in some of my clothes.
I routinely clean my closet seasonally- and give my gleanings to my church. It has a “free clothing closet” as it is in a poorer neighborhood in my city. People who work at the clothing closet say that when my bags of clothes come along, recipients are excited- since there are not as many larger women donating their clothes in this way.
I am always recruiting people I know to donate their clothes similarly.
Hi, everybody. I’m glad y’all found my blog entry interesting.
For those of you who disagree with my entire list of possible reasons, or who don’t have the same particular health and weight issues I have, I want to say, good for y’all. Rock on.
Good luck meeting all your goals — even the ones that aren’t the same as mine. :)
I just want to say, I don’t donate too much stuff for the simple reason that I don’t have the money to replace my wardrobe every season. If I move a size up or a size down, I can’t go buy much new stuff, so I have to hold on to the stuff I have. I feel bad for the ladies who may or may not want my wardrobe… but that’s life for the poor of us.
Gwen, it’s true that some of your reasons would apply to some people and not to others. But a lot of them are just plain not related to weight for the vast majority of people. It’s a mistake to think that being thin and being fit are one and the same. That particular misconception results in a lot of fat people giving up on the idea of being active and doing the things they want to do. They think “I’m fat, so why bother trying? I’ll just look stupid, and people will laugh at me.” And, that’s not a good attitude to have. It brings down people’s quality of life.
Unless you’re very, very heavy, losing weight almost always boils down to a combination of (quite possibly mistaken) health-related fears and a desire to have an appearance that’s more socially acceptable and less likely to result in discrimination. There are often a lot of internalized feelings of disgust and hatred as well, reflecting our society’s fat phobia.
And, unfortunately, the social and economic discrimination are real and it is tempting to try to avoid them, even if the price is high. But, when it comes right down to it, these are sad reasons to try to lose weight, aren’t they? It’s unfortunate that the hatred and discrimination exist at all. Why should we base our lives on pleasing the kind of people who hold those attitudes? And, if we detect those attitudes in ourselves, shouldn’t we fight them?