Jam out with your ham out

To Whom It May Concern

September 25th, 2007

So there’s this guy sitting back and apparently trying to decide how he should personally police fat people. He’s come up with the idea of handing out some kind of ticket.

What we probably need is a stand[ard] letter ( fre[e]ly downloadable) you can give to fat people ( especially work mates, mates and family) that points out they are overweight and that it damages their health, but also that you want to help and asks them what help you can be: perhaps they want an exercise buddy, a councillor, someone to visit a diet group with, or a fuck buddy to help screw the excess pounds off? Perhaps not so stuck on the last one……

But Im very aware that nagging does no good but, also, that ignoring obesity can be mistaken for affirming and accepting it

Please note that he’s talking about his co-workers, his friends, and his family members. Let’s see, how would I respond to this? I actually cannot imagine a co-worker handing me a “you’re fat” ticket. If that happened, I would be livid. I’d go to straight to HR or something. If it was a friend? That would be their “ticket” out of our friendship! (Ha ha! See what I did there?) A family member, god. Depends on who it was, I guess. Might make Thanksgiving dinner somewhat awkward.

Andrew, fat people already know that they’re fat. They really don’t need you to help lead them into the light or whatever. It’s not even that you have bad intentions (although you clearly hate fat people so maybe I shouldn’t give you the benefit of the doubt). I’m sure some people would appreciate an exercise buddy or a fuck buddy (best weight loss idea ever). Especially if they aren’t physically active (although, in fact, many fat people do exercise; you do realize that, right?) And yet, handing out a letter is absolutely… the wrong way to go here. It’s insulting, it’s demeaning, and it’s not going to make your “work mates, mates, and family” feel very good. Maybe try inviting all your friends, fat and thin alike, for a hike in the hills and a drunken snog. Much more fair that way!

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Posted by mo pie

Filed under: Advocacy, Fatism, Health, Work

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37 Responses to To Whom It May Concern

  1. K, on September 25th, 2007 at 7:29 am Said:

    Good grief.

    I don’t know about you, but I remember every adverse comment anyone’s ever made to me, even those which were meant to be delicate and tactful and came from people I love. And those comments still burn. Even if you’re fairly confident and happy in yourself, there’s nothing like other people telling you you shouldn’t be…

    And, you know, although I’m not remotely pro-smoking, I’m pretty sure the smokers that the guy already confronts aren’t unaware of the health risks either.

    I suppose I hope he’s stupid rather than malicious.

    Reply
  2. Violet, on September 25th, 2007 at 8:15 am Said:

    I want to comment over there. SO BAD. But I’ve never been any good at keeping cool and tactful at such things, so I just keep my mouth shut. He just sounds like a self-righteous busybody, if nothing else.

    I don’t know whether I would eat the ticket and walk away laughing or just choke him to death with it. :D

    Reply
  3. Pattie, on September 25th, 2007 at 8:29 am Said:

    That guy is a jackass and doesn’t even deserve the time it would take to leave a comment over there. What comes around goes around buddy.

    Reply
  4. Tara, on September 25th, 2007 at 8:48 am Said:

    Once I got the comment, “You’ve gained a lot of weight. Is there a reason for that?” from an uncle. I was a lot younger at the time so I didn’t have a snappy reply. Today I would say something like, “You’re being rude. Is there a reason for THAT?”
    I have said it before and I’ll say it again. When people feel the need to pass judgement or put people down, it means they’re running from their own stuff.

    Reply
  5. Peanuts, on September 25th, 2007 at 8:49 am Said:

    If he did that to me, I would have such difficulty refraining from punching him in the face. You’d think he’d have learnt his lesson from the first time he tried that, from his description of what the first fat person did to him.

    At least he’s linked to his commercial website so I can ensure I don’t purchase any fitness products from his company.

    Reply
  6. Rachel, on September 25th, 2007 at 8:50 am Said:

    What a dumbass. No wonder he has no comments on any of his posts – he’s not worth the time and effort.

    Perhaps he ought to get off his pedestal and reexamine his own life. His insecurities and ego showing, big-time.

    Reply
  7. Becky, on September 25th, 2007 at 8:50 am Said:

    These days I have no problem with walking up to smokers and saying, ” you know, thats bad for your health”.

    Maybe this asshole should just start minding his own business. Smokers know exactly how bad smoking is for their health. Fat people know the health risks associated with being fat. Neither of them need a freaking memo.

    Reply
  8. Lynette, on September 25th, 2007 at 9:08 am Said:

    What would I do if someone gave me a fat ticket? Knock them down and sit on them! Tee hee hee!

    He’s an ass and hopefully someday, he’ll get his just desserts…oops, there I go again! A fat girl talking about food…. :)

    Reply
  9. Jae, on September 25th, 2007 at 9:17 am Said:

    People like this make me sad for the world.

    First of all, I don’t quite believe he really walks up to smokers to wag his finger in their face about their habit. If he does, he probably has had his teeth knocked in once or twice; unless of course he only does this to smokers he thinks he can intimidate.

    The fact that he thinks it is not only his right, but his duty to humiliate and hurt others in order to further his own personal agenda is disgusting. I always thought the our general goal in life was to do good things and show love to our fellow beings, but apparently in his world those things only apply to those who live up to his personal standards.

    He’s missing out on a lot by living this way; I almost pity him.

    Reply
  10. JenLovesPonies, on September 25th, 2007 at 9:24 am Said:

    This clown sells fitness products? I bet his chain letter has his website at the bottom. See, its not being rude, it’s advertising.

    Days like this, I wish it was legal to carry a hidden weapon in my state.

    Reply
  11. lisa-marie, on September 25th, 2007 at 9:56 am Said:

    Ugh, what an asshole!

    Reply
  12. Jessica, on September 25th, 2007 at 10:08 am Said:

    This is why I love living in Minnesota, where there IS, in fact, a “conceal and carry” law.

    BAM.

    Dead asshole.

    Reply
  13. There'sMoreToYouThanJustFat, on September 25th, 2007 at 10:23 am Said:

    Maybe I’m stating the obvious here, but…what is the point? Is this man that affected by fat people that he doesn’t know?

    How about bald people?
    How about people who blow their nose at the dinner table?
    How about people who wear mismatched clothing?
    How about carnivores?
    How about idiots?

    Why is he taking this upon himself to fight the fat? Let everyone fight their own fat if they want to, and if they don’t…you don’t have to ‘affirm or accept’ others behavior or their bodies.

    Reply
  14. DivaJean, on September 25th, 2007 at 10:44 am Said:

    Why is he taking this upon himself to fight the fat?

    Because he clearly needs to have someone to feel “better than” and fat people are the last bastion he can do this to. Or gays/lesbians.

    But even lefty leaning folks can agree that maybe he is doing this to “encourage health.”

    Reply
  15. vesta44, on September 25th, 2007 at 11:14 am Said:

    This is the comment I left for him. I am not going to let asshats like him keep spouting their crap without calling them on it. I don’t care if it changes his attitude, I just want him to know that there are people who think he’s an idiot and a buttinsky who needs to mind his own damned business.

    Dude, it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS if people are fat. You don’t buy their groceries, clean their house, raise their kids, do their laundry, mow their yard, or take care of any the myriad things that have to be taken care of in a person’s life. No one died and made you the Grand Poohbah of the Universe. If you don’t like fat people, fine, but leave them the hell alone. We know we are fat. We also know how healthy/fit or unhealthy/unfit we are, we don’t need you pointing it out to us (like we don’t get that shit from millions of other sources every day of our lives). You can’t tell a person’s health by looking at them, none of us has a flashing neon sign listing our lung function, blood sugar, blood pressure, cholesterol, or how much muscle mass we are carrying under our fat. Get a life, will you? It’s your opinion, and you know what they say about opinions.

    Reply
  16. Miss Laura Mars, on September 25th, 2007 at 12:00 pm Said:

    Maybe we can also start handing out asshole tickets?

    Reply
  17. Rachel, on September 25th, 2007 at 12:27 pm Said:

    I love the comments left by people here on his blog, but I can’t help but think pandering to his posts will only serve to inflate his already enlarged ego. I’ve found that people of his ilk are rarely open-minded.

    Reply
  18. spacedcowgirl, on September 25th, 2007 at 12:44 pm Said:

    Oh, don’t worry, he’ll start filling up Fat Hate Bingo squares soon enough if he pays enough attention to respond to that comment. “But you’re driving up my health insurance rates!” “Just get off the couch and stop stuffing Twinkies down your throat!”

    I didn’t even read the subject post, but linked to the “hates fat people” one and this guy would clearly have trouble finding two brain cells to rub together. What a dumbass. I agree with Jae, I almost feel sorry for someone with such a limited outlook on life.

    Reply
  19. jm, on September 25th, 2007 at 12:49 pm Said:

    I’m refraining from commenting over there because I don’t want to encourage the guy. But seriously, dude, get a therapist. If my fat offends you so much that you’d need to write a memo about it and distribute it to other offenders, you’ve either got major issues or are just a dick.

    Reply
  20. ginger, on September 25th, 2007 at 1:00 pm Said:

    Looks like the site is linked to a British chain of gyms – maybe the author is a personal trainer or something of the sort, looking to drum up business by shaming the people he perceives as unfit?

    Reply
  21. HONI, on September 25th, 2007 at 1:21 pm Said:

    aaa wa.. who in the hell made him the fat King.. I hate folks like him… not just a little but a lot.. I will never forget the doctor that came into the room and said.. you know you are overweight… (slapping the side of my face, ) I exclaim.. NO REALLY!!! are ya sure… is that your expert opinion… ?? I know what to do .. and I know how do it.. if that moron came with in my breathing space and gave me a fat ticket.. I would give him an asshat ticket!

    Reply
  22. K, on September 25th, 2007 at 1:31 pm Said:

    Well, given that he’s British, it’s not his health insurance rates those thoughtless fatties are driving up, it’s his taxes. I have, seriously, heard the argument that “the taxes that I, as a healthy person, pay, are being spent on people who deliberately court health problems.”

    Well, yes. But truly, does the “healthy person” never ever do anything himself that isn’t perfectly calculated to keep him healthy? Does he cycle? He might be knocked off his bike, injured and spend months in hospital. What if he throws his back out and can’t work as a personal trainer (if that’s what he does)? Doesn’t he want treatment, or sick pay?

    It’s as if I was saying “I don’t have kids, so why should my taxes pay for schools?” Or whatever. Equally ridiculous.

    Reply
  23. Lindsay, on September 25th, 2007 at 4:42 pm Said:

    These days I have no problem with walking up to smokers and saying, ” you know, thats bad for your health”.

    As a smoker, i hear that from time to time. Invariably, i sweetly smile and tell them, “This is the best form of stress relief i have ever found; so my options are to kill myself slowly, or to kill someone else quickly. Which would you prefer?”

    Now, if someone at work came to me with some “zomg you’re like totally fat and stuff” pamphlet, be in HR so damn fast that my shoes wouldn’t be able to keep up.

    If a friend came up to me, my options are to sit the person down and have an open and honest discussion about weight, size issues, HAES… or to think real long and real hard about whether or not my time would be merely wasted on someone who doesn’t love me for me.

    I’m incredibly lucky in that none of my family members would say that sort of thing to me anytime soon; as such, i don’t know how i’d react to that.

    Reply
  24. Kate Harding, on September 25th, 2007 at 7:16 pm Said:

    Maybe we can also start handing out asshole tickets?

    Hey, there’s a blank line on
    these for you to write in your own offense. “Ignorant, fatphobic dickwaddery” would work nicely there.

    Reply
  25. Jezebella, on September 25th, 2007 at 10:43 pm Said:

    When I get unsolicited health advice, I just tell people that being unhealthy is my retirement plan.

    “I’ll never be able to afford to retire, so I’m [smoking/drinking beer/being fat] so I’ll be dead before retirement age.”

    It ain’t true, but it sure as hell stops ‘em in their tracks.

    Reply
  26. v'ron, on September 26th, 2007 at 7:31 am Said:

    Oh, get this. Its a recently started blog, and here’s the first post:

    “You will be hearing a lot about Fitness Activists in the future: For now, just be reassured that the cure for obesity is at hand.”

    The cure for obesity is at hand. Hallelujah!

    I.Can.Not.Wait.

    No, make that

    I.Can.Not.Stop.Laughing.

    Reply
  27. Cindy, on September 26th, 2007 at 3:47 pm Said:

    Here’s my fantasy:

    If anyone ever did that to me, I’d tell them:
    “Let’s go. Now. Run with me and let’s see how friggin’ long it takes me to do what you expect me to do (wheeze, collapse, cry, etc.?).

    “When I’m still standing three miles later (I run 3 miles almost every day before breakfast), I’m gonna drop to the ground and start with the pushups. Then, I’m gonna flip over on my back and start the crunches. Then, I’ll end with a drop-dead gorgeous scorpion pose. I’ll be holding it for 45 seconds.”

    At that point, Mr. Big Neck will either publicly eat said “fat ticket,” or he will be in the fetal position. That’s what happens to assholes when they get kicked in the testicles, see?

    Reply
  28. Michael, on September 26th, 2007 at 6:40 pm Said:

    BAM.

    Dead asshole.

    Well, that seems like a perfectly reasonable response to receiving an uninvited comment upon one’s weight – vigilante summary execution. How could he not have it coming, opening his mouth and speaking his mind, all unenlightened as it is.

    Yep, fewer unenlightened minds is what’s needed all right.

    Reply
  29. Chaser, on September 29th, 2007 at 4:59 pm Said:

    Actually, in California, it would be considered legal harassment for him to hand out tickets to people he wants to police. At least according to the 258-page two-hour training that I just took on sexual harassment last Friday. Commenting on somebody’s body–either pro or con–can be considered harassment. San Francisco *specifically* lists overweight people in list of classes protected from behavior.

    So…..let’s hope he tries it and gets his undoubtedly skinny ass sued off.

    Reply
  30. littlem, on October 2nd, 2007 at 5:30 am Said:

    “These days I have no problem with walking up to smokers and saying, ” you know, thats bad for your health”.

    Would looooooooove to be there the next time one decides to knock him into the middle of next week.

    Reply
  31. "Fair and Balanced" Dave, on October 2nd, 2007 at 1:50 pm Said:

    How about handing out “skinny tickets” to anorexics like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie?

    Reply
  32. mo pie, on October 2nd, 2007 at 2:09 pm Said:

    Well that would obviously be equally offensive. Or is that what you’re saying?

    Reply
  33. bonnie-ann black, on October 2nd, 2007 at 3:16 pm Said:

    a man i met in a bar once told me: “If you lost a few pounds and wore contacts, you might be gorgeous!”

    i snapped back: “If you were six inches taller and had a full head of hair, you might be gorgeous too.”

    to which he replied, with a hurt expression: “That’s not very nice.”

    rude idiots… the world is full of them, and i don’t believe in cutting them any slack.

    Reply
  34. "Fair and Balanced" Dave, on October 2nd, 2007 at 3:28 pm Said:

    Well that would obviously be equally offensive. Or is that what you’re saying?

    That’s what I’m saying. This “ticket guy” says he’s handing out tickets to “fat” people because of the adverse health effects of obesity. My point is that literally thousands of girls and women starve themselves (many literally to death) to conform to an unreal ultra-thin body image.

    I belong to a health club and one of the instructors is a woman who would fit this guy’s definition of “fat” (she’s probably about a size 12 or 14), however she teaches at least 2 spinning classes a day and regularly runs in local 5K races.

    Reply
  35. Fuzz, on October 2nd, 2007 at 9:49 pm Said:

    I am on the fence about this one.

    On the one hand, I know I am fat. I knew I was fat when I was fatter. I knew I was morbidly obese and that despite that, I lived my life doing many of the things I wanted to do.

    I remember going to the doctor and mentioning some issues I was having, only to have her look back and me and say “you know, half of these problems are due to your weight.”

    I was so angry with her. So disgusted. I never went to see her again as a result and spent the next couple of years getting fatter.

    Then I had my wake-up call…and it was a wake-up call about nutrition, not weight loss:

    The way I was eating was killing me.

    You see, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, and it scared the crap out of me. But once I got past the immobilizing fear, I started cooking, practicing portion control, working out…I started to get myself together. I just wish it hadn’t been a health scare to motivate me.

    I have a friend who, when I met him, had high blood pressure, diabetes, sleep apnea and was going blind. He lost over 200lbs and has reversed all of that damage. He had no idea that managing his food intake, eating more vegetables and whole grains and less processed food, that exercising would have such a dramatic impact on his health. I had no idea it would result in that much change. The health scare didn’t motivate him, but something did. And the one thing he can say now that he’s accomplished this is that he refused to acknowledge his obesity and was willfully blind to how it affected his life.

    So I get where this guy is coming from. It’s not about hurting your feelings. It’s not about being self righteous. It’s not about putting someone else down.

    It’s about giving obese people a necessary wake up call, before emergency medical personal do it for them. Before they are so physically damaged and emotionally drained that it becomes impossible. Before they go and cut off part of their intestine and make vomiting a daily ritual, instead of the exception.

    So yeah, I get it. The unfortunate part is that most people, especially the people who need the wake up call, won’t.

    Reply
  36. Fuzz, on October 2nd, 2007 at 9:51 pm Said:

    That said…

    He’s a rude sumuvabitch and I’d rip him a new one behind that nonsense.

    Reply
  37. Egor, on December 5th, 2007 at 3:29 pm Said:

    Hi, been surfing the net for weight loss for idiots and found your blog reg To Whom It May Concern. You relly know your stuff! I\’d like to see more posts here. Will definitely bookmark it and come back.

    Reply

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